Question:

Hello everyone Last night I had extremely bizarre dream. I’ve always enjoyed dreams where I usually exist as a normal person without any disorders like s.p., shyness, etc. I was popular, romantic and even herioc personage in many of those nostalgic dreams I’ve had before. Whenever the day ends I look forward impatiently to appear in the dream dimension to live as a true participant in it. Being a normal healthy human is beyond happiness as I imagine now. In those dreams I always was wholly intelligent, handsome and most of all completely healthy fellow. Many times I’ve dated, went out and even kissed a girl. In other words, I had a wanted life in my dreams until yesterday’s demonic night. I fell asleep as always last night. Waiting to appear in happy dimension, I actually saw myself existing in a brutal gothic world which is very similar to the one I live in daily. The setting is Kazahstan (former soviet union republic). My uncle lives there. The dream begins very lifelike with all living features of characters and environment. I feel the cold windy weather and snow. I hang out with my cousins and friends. We left the house and walking in the park. The park is marvelous. Many trees, and large crowds of people enjoying the winter sking, playing snowballs, smiling, having fun in other words. I see myself surrounded happily by my peers. My little cousin near me always sticks by the shoulder. We come up to one girl and ask her out to walk around in the park. She agrees. I even put my hand around her and kind of expressed her my warm. We chatted a little. I remember she left somehow. Later we meet other friends of mine and walking nearby the dancing club. The music is heard loudly. I can’t wait to go in. Strangely, I actually walk in the club slowly opening the door with my trembling hands. I come in and feel very nervous. My God I see myself in the side mirror all shaking and nervous! I feel that feeling in my stomach, my upper lip is trembling, my hands, knees and nearly all body is shaking! I feel it and most of all I live it! I run around through crowds like a fish willing someone to talk to. I find a pretty girl happily dancing. I come up to her and can’t even say ‘Hi’! Geeez…I can’t even look at her straight. I leave the club immedietly and grab the fresh air to release the aching pain and s.p. in my wounded, twisted body. I see my friend coming up to me and walking me away from the club. I follow him jogging slowly. He then tells me I look like shit. He argues about my haircut and how I dressed. I can’t believe my best friend actually putting me down! Damn I was screwed. He tells me I look ugly and I’m not suitable even stepping into that club. He then left me shouting what a loser I am. I was terrified and very depressed. I started worring how people see me and how they judge me. My hands were still shaking and I hid myself under the nearby tree while people still were walking by me staring at my unearthly look. I felt it all. It was all exactly like in real life! The s.p. was eroding me inside and tearing apart. I then woke up and slightly hit myself to make sure this was a dream. I couldn’t believe this damned s.p. was actually getting me in my DREAM! This was so far the only dream I so vividly remember to live in with total hell stages and barriers I go through in real life. The S.P. was as real as it is in this physical world. I’ve never actually danced in a club in real life before, but this club from the dream still haunts me! I don’t know if i’ll ever go into any dancing club again in my life. The dream terrified me so severely I don’t even know if I want to fall asleep this night. I’ve never thought of s.p. being so serious and achingly painful even in my dreams. I feel so depressed, gloomy, brutally injured inside and completely torn. The s.p. now haunts me in both worlds I live in. Both punish and fling hell at me. The demons got me. This dream brought the beginning of my worst nightmares in life to materialize in the future dreams. This S.P. in my last night dream injured, wounded and torn my soul and body apart. Dmitry

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Dmitry wrote:

Hello everyone Last night I had extremely bizarre dream. I’ve always enjoyed dreams where I usually exist as a normal person without any disorders like s.p., shyness, etc. I was popular, romantic and even herioc personage in many of those nostalgic dreams I’ve had before. Whenever the day ends I look forward impatiently to appear in the dream dimension to live as a true participant in it. Being a normal healthy human is beyond happiness as I imagine now. In those dreams I always was wholly intelligent, handsome and most of all completely healthy fellow. Many times I’ve dated, went out and even kissed a girl. In other words, I had a wanted life in my dreams until yesterday’s demonic night. I fell asleep as always last night. Waiting to appear in happy dimension, I actually saw myself existing in a brutal gothic world which is very similar to the one I live in daily. The setting is Kazahstan (former soviet union republic). My uncle lives there. The dream begins very lifelike with all living features of characters and environment. I feel the cold windy weather and snow. I hang out with my cousins and friends. We left the house and walking in the park. The park is marvelous. Many trees, and large crowds of people enjoying the winter sking, playing snowballs, smiling, having fun in other words. I see myself surrounded happily by my peers. My little cousin near me always sticks by the shoulder. We come up to one girl and ask her out to walk around in the park. She agrees. I even put my hand around her and kind of expressed her my warm. We chatted a little. I remember she left somehow. Later we meet other friends of mine and walking nearby the dancing club. The music is heard loudly. I can’t wait to go in. Strangely, I actually walk in the club slowly opening the door with my trembling hands. I come in and feel very nervous. My God I see myself in the side mirror all shaking and nervous! I feel that feeling in my stomach, my upper lip is trembling, my hands, knees and nearly all body is shaking! I feel it and most of all I live it! I run around through crowds like a fish willing someone to talk to. I find a pretty girl happily dancing. I come up to her and can’t even say ‘Hi’! Geeez…I can’t even look at her straight. I leave the club immedietly and grab the fresh air to release the aching pain and s.p. in my wounded, twisted body. I see my friend coming up to me and walking me away from the club. I follow him jogging slowly. He then tells me I look like shit. He argues about my haircut and how I dressed. I can’t believe my best friend actually putting me down! Damn I was screwed. He tells me I look ugly and I’m not suitable even stepping into that club. He then left me shouting what a loser I am. I was terrified and very depressed. I started worring how people see me and how they judge me. My hands were still shaking and I hid myself under the nearby tree while people still were walking by me staring at my unearthly look. I felt it all. It was all exactly like in real life! The s.p. was eroding me inside and tearing apart. I then woke up and slightly hit myself to make sure this was a dream. I couldn’t believe this damned s.p. was actually getting me in my DREAM! This was so far the only dream I so vividly remember to live in with total hell stages and barriers I go through in real life. The S.P. was as real as it is in this physical world. I’ve never actually danced in a club in real life before, but this club from the dream still haunts me! I don’t know if i’ll ever go into any dancing club again in my life. The dream terrified me so severely I don’t even know if I want to fall asleep this night. I’ve never thought of s.p. being so serious and achingly painful even in my dreams. I feel so depressed, gloomy, brutally injured inside and completely torn. The s.p. now haunts me in both worlds I live in. Both punish and fling hell at me. The demons got me. This dream brought the beginning of my worst nightmares in life to materialize in the future dreams. This S.P. in my last night dream injured, wounded and torn my soul and body apart. Dmitry

I liked reading this. It gave me some thoughts to ponder on. I don’t have these kinds of nightmares anymore, but I’ve had some a few years back, although not as tragic. Do you have dreams like these often? Jenna/Canada — "Faults are like the headlights of cars: Those of others seem more glaring than your own."

Response:

Hi Jenna you wrote:

I liked reading this.

Thank you

It gave me some thoughts to ponder on. I don’t have these kinds of nightmares anymore, but I’ve had some a few years back, although not as tragic. Do you have dreams like these often?

This was my first one with SP that I so vividly remember. Even now I can still feel that gothic atmosphere and my SP symptoms and feelings in that club from the dream. I can’t forget it. Dmitry

Response:

In article <3681CDC9.6…@BrunNet.net

, Boudreau <boudr…@BrunNet.net writes:

Hello Jenna and Dmitry,

I liked reading this. It gave me some thoughts to ponder on. I don’t have these kinds of nightmares anymore, but I’ve had some a few years back, although not as tragic. Do you have dreams like these often?

It would be quite interesting to find out how other people here, see themselves in their dreams.  I dream a lot, because I sleep a lot! (too much.)  But I’m always a ‘normal’ person in my dreams, not introvert, nor extrovert.  I enjoy my dreams, they are better than RL, and I often think "oh no" when I wake up again! If I have a nightmare, it doesn’t take on the form of me being SP, but I dream about spiders!!  I have a phobia about them, so whatever the bad dream is about, a spider always turns up somewhere! Jo.

Response:

Hi Jo, You wrote:

It would be quite interesting to find out how other people here, see themselves in their dreams.  I dream a lot, because I sleep a lot! (too much.)  But I’m always a ‘normal’ person in my dreams, not introvert, nor extrovert.  I enjoy my dreams, they are better than RL, and I often think "oh no" when I wake up again!

Jo, me too.  I *like* most of my dreams – in them I have an active social life and I’m not afraid of any situation. I have lots of dreams about my parents and family. I’m terribly sad when I wake up and realize it was just a dream.  Except for one dream I have every now and then in which I am extremely, inexplicably angry at my mom – I dream that I scream all those ugly things I used to only think in my head.  That’s strange to me, because I *thought* I forgave her mistakes a long time ago.

If I have a nightmare, it doesn’t take on the form of me being SP, but I dream about spiders!!  I have a phobia about them, so whatever the bad dream is about, a spider always turns up somewhere!

That *would* be an awful dream, wouldn’t it? Spiders are nightmarish enough in RL!!  :-) I do like "jumping" spiders, if they’re little. We actually have a pet jumping spider we saved from the cold.  It just crawls around on the ceiling a lot, drives my cats crazy.  It’s name is Geronimo. My nightmares are definitely about my fear of people.  They always feature people turning against me somehow – turning into monsters, turning evil, etc.  Thank God, I don’t have them too much. Bonnie

Response:

Hi Bonnie, you wrote:

Jo, me too.  I *like* most of my dreams – in them I have an active social life and I’m not afraid of any situation.

I liked most of my dreams also. Until that one two nights ago. "S.P. in my dream for the first time!". I hope you read my article.

I have lots of dreams about my parents and family. I’m terribly sad when I wake up and realize it was just a dream.

I hate leaving the dream. Sometimes I’m somehow get rich in the dream or something like that and suddenly everything disappears and I wake up with empty hands!

Except for one dream I have every now and then in which I am extremely, inexplicably angry at my mom – I dream that I scream all those ugly things I used to only think in my head.  That’s strange to me, because I *thought* I forgave her mistakes a long time ago.

I sometimes see myself confronting my parents in dreams. It’s terrible. Very deep and far memories that are actually forgotten in my head, are popping up in dreams! and it’s horrifying.

Spiders are nightmarish enough in RL!!  :-) I do like "jumping" spiders, if they’re little. We actually have a pet jumping spider we saved from the cold.  It just crawls around on the ceiling a lot, drives my cats crazy.  It’s name is Geronimo.

Hehe. The name fits! GGGEEroneeemo.

My nightmares are definitely about my fear of people.  They always feature people turning against me somehow – turning into monsters, turning evil, etc.  Thank God, I don’t have them too much.

I sometimes wonder why do we have so much fear of mean people. I think we *NICE* people somehow are able to identify them and we save ourselves by recognizing them and not getting on their ways, simply running away from them. Many people’ve called me coward in life. But somehow I’ve never had any serious injuries! I’m very timid and careful person. I ignore any risky activities. If I have to jump from something high, i’ll think about it ten times. Yes, I’m SP and I worry a lot. I don’t start a fight unless I’m sure I’ll do the right thing. I really believe our SP somehow gives us a bit of help against EVIL. We don’t actually fight with blood against them. We are afraid of them, we ignore them, we don’t fight them, we’re running away from them. Those who seem to have to much confidence and pride in themselves, sometimes get hurt from those evil executors. That’s when I look at them and have a little giggle inside saying how good it is being a coward and SP! What do you have to say about my opinion regarding our S.P., worriness somehow helping a little against these pure evil hell-raisers executors, Bonnie? Dmitry

Response:

In article <36824F18.4…@yahoo.com

, Bonnie <skyel…@yahoo.com writes:

Hi Bonnie,

I have lots of dreams about my parents and family. I’m terribly sad when I wake up and realize it was just a dream.  Except for one dream I have every now and then in which I am extremely, inexplicably angry at my mom – I dream that I scream all those ugly things I used to only think in my head.  That’s strange to me, because I *thought* I forgave her mistakes a long time ago.

I have these kind of dreams too, but about my Dad, it’s exactly the same, the things I used to think in my head, but never said.

That *would* be an awful dream, wouldn’t it? Spiders are nightmarish enough in RL!!  :-) I do like "jumping" spiders, if they’re little. We actually have a pet jumping spider we saved from the cold.  It just crawls around on the ceiling a lot, drives my cats crazy.  It’s name is Geronimo.

A pet spider, Bonnie are you *MAD*!!

My nightmares are definitely about my fear of people.  They always feature people turning against me somehow – turning into monsters, turning evil, etc.  Thank God, I don’t have them too much.

This is to bad, fortunately I don’t have these types of dreams, but I have some really weird ones, and that’s a fact. Jo.

Response:

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